Onward

October 2012 was the last time I play pierced. It was also the month my lobes were reconstructed.

A lot has happened in the last five years. Obvious things like my aesthetic changes of course but more private things, too. A few months after the photo on the left was taken, I went on hiatus and dropped the persona when I returned, never treating social media the same way again. While I’ve been open about some aspects that led me to that decision, there are a few key factors that go much deeper, that have taken a long time to see and interpret properly, and to fully understand how they affect me. I’ve got so much written out for my blog. Sitting here, unfinished, with continuous additions being made. I still don’t feel quite ready to share all that so publicly, though I do want to someday. It’s just not the right time, and it’s more than me. Those entries may even remain unfinished and private, but one day those emotions won’t be so tightly bound and bursting at the seams. They will be free and out in the world, and change will come swiftly.

It’s difficult to see growth while in the moment, and I have a terrible habit of discrediting myself and focusing on negatives in my own head or that have been fed to me, all while allowing others to have the control because it seemed the easier option. But I’m not getting any younger, and my path has always been the overgrown one, hard to spot and hard to get through, the least favourite of many. But that’s also where I thrive. It’s what’s made me who I am, and what’s brought me clarity. Some will get lost along the way. But I won’t. I know my way through the weeds. It’s just not easy.